Stop blowing up my people bitch!!

Ok ok ok i know I haven't been blogging for ages and to be very honest I wasn't intending to do it till my exams ended next week, but I just heard of this bomb blast in Karachi on this Muharram procession which is...sad.. but i had to make fun of the bastards who did it!!
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Dear Taliban
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I don't get it, I mean fine youdont agree with their religious values but that doesn't mean you go blow them up..I mean agar inta hi masla tha to apni mummy ko shikayat kardaytay.

Oh wait your dad blew her up....she wanted to "blow him" and he acted in self defence (Go figure =p )
Love
Saadi
ps: btw I read this article which says you guys are now sending secret messages on porn sites...cause like if thats true..Im pretty sure Zarda Ali sardari will find you before Obama does...(no no Im not referring to Zardari =P)

You know what is actually most weird, these people actually think that these bomb blasts would work in a country like Pakistan. I mean this is a country which is ready to fight anything and everything that moves...its like a  national fucking passtime so like no matter what these guys do it really wont make a difference.

See letme explain

Superman was flying over Karachi.

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flying

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flying

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still flying

"Hey, that old lady needs help crossing the road"

*Super man swoops low, swipes the old lady off her feet and then put her on the other side of the road*

The woman looks at Superman...and says

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"@#$#@$@#$ teray ghar mai maaa behnay nahi hai!!!"

*sigh* wierd bastards.

Anyways gotta go study.

God bless this country

ps: Yes I haven't been blogging, i had my reasons...which includes my photography

Checkout my work :D

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...This you gotta see...

And you thought "Yahan peshaab karna mana hai" was the funniest sign you ever read??

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Hamara president to bohat acha hai...seedha jannat mai jaye ga =P

Our president's political party was celebrating its birthday day before yesterday...you know the thingy lead lead by a dude so notorious that he single handedly shaped the money laundering laws that exist today and forced various international firms to pass laws barring any future dealings with him.....ji ji mai ainak walay Jinn baat kar raha hoon...app Zardari kyoon samjhay?? Woh to bohat acha aadmi hai  (See FIA, no need to block this blog like all those other blogs - I love zardari as a matter of fact I have a poster of him on my pot which glows in the dark when the lights go out)

Anyways, to celebrate the birthday the president's party decided to give people of Karachi a treat.

They did!!!! see they blocked all major roads of the city for "presidential security" (Even though no one in Pakistan wants to kill him.....but you know just in case =p ) this offcoarse caused a traffic jam and like eventually EVERYONE HAD TO GO PEE.....now if you live in Karachi you know there are only two places you could go to in a situation like that

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Well actually there are  three places you could go to... but you see  bushes dont count, they are a THING not a place

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KFC & MCDONALDS!!

and you cant use their bathrooms until you buy fries...I know Pizza Hut bhi hota hai par wahan kay bathroom kay liye pura pizza layna parta hai

Hey bringing a city of 160 million for a lame photo opportunity is clearly justified for him I guess..

*sigh* Eid tommorow morning...I really should be sleepting but Im actually taking macro shots of a match...hey I din tell you I've been trying out photography did I...well Ive been getting quite good at it too.

Anyways, Eid mubarak people
Out =D

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There are COWS EVERYWHERE!!!

chatThey are every where...EVERYWHERE!!!
lemme upload that pik again

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I was coming back home from university, I turned into my street and realised my parking space has been taken over by a cow...surrounded by more cows (I think they were all cousins cause like they all looked the same)

*Sigh* "Stupid Bakra eid" I muttered

I kept moving up the street looking for another parking spot.

 "...Parking spot taken by a COW...."

*move up the street a little more*

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"...Another COW..."

*Still moving up the street*

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"..Another Cow.."

*Still moving up the stupid street*

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"hey I can park there its just a cat.....naa she'll feel left out"

WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE TIE THEIR COWS ON THE FREGGIN ROAD...I mean they made roads for cars just like they made India for cows !!!

I hate bakra eid...I mean there are just too many cows, I mean every freggin turn you take you spot at least a dozen of them..they're like the Indians & Pakistanis of the animal Kingdom - They all look the same, bob their heads and make too many freggin babies (calves Saadi cows make calves not babies).

Dear God

Why'd you make so many cows anyways...I mean have you ever thought of how bad it makes other animals feel.

And if had to make so many them can you atleast make them poop less....I like the "mooing" part though it sounds so much like my car  =D

Love

Saadi 

ps: I really find the idea of checking a cows age from its teeth weird, PLEASE GIVE THEM BIRTHDAYS

pps: Just to let you know, I passed QBA...agar koi jaanay wala mara to us k hath mithayi bhijwaoon ga =D

And then like I cant even curse when Bakra eid is close...I cant, I really cant which is really bad cause its an attack on Pakistanihood  (I mean when most toilet seats are taller than you in 7th grade swearing is the only thing you got).

See everytime I swear I just go like  "Bhais ka moo!!.." But I cant do that during the Bakra Eid season cause everytime I do whoevers around me goes like

"Hain kidher ??......zyada bara tha kya"

And then those annoying kids that keep running around their cows as if it their long lost dad or something (someone really should tell them the cow would be biryani in the morning), the people who keep making up these stories about how "their friends cow" costs more than a freggin car...you know how every Mohalla has a DUS LAKH KA BAIL  (Jesus man I wouldn't spend so much on a cow until it could fly me to university everyday...and yea poop on random ppl as it did =p)

I dont like it i dont like I just dont like it...there is just too much mooing and pooping...I like the eating part on Eid though..

Oh well out
=D

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"I PODDE" MY ASS....its an I PHONE =@

I just got home from uni and I got mugged...No no dont worry the good wala mugged (No, I'm not making this up)

There I just got off a red light - near my home...wondering if I should order KFC for lunch. This bike stopped right infront of me...

*DHAG DHAG DHAG*

Some dude standing next to another dude on a bike was smacking my car window as if it was the bathroom & he had to go pee (qoumi masla hai hamara...koi ghar say farigh hokar nahi aata).

Then I then noticed the dude had a gun...and he wanted me to roll down my window NOW.

I rolled down my window...he demanded my cellphone after cursing me in atleast 7 different languages.
Reluctantly, I handed my I phone to him....you would think this dude would be happy cause he scored such an expensive cell phone right ?

You're wrong, you wont belive what this guy did next.

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He took my cell but instead of leaving,

he made ugliest expression I had ever seen

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*PATTAAAKH*

He slapped me across the neck

"Saalay mai chootya hoon kya??...Phone manga hai, I PODDE naheen"

He cursed me again..threw my phone down hard on the road and left.

Dear fucked up robber

Dude ITS AN I PHONE not an "I PODDE" !!

And its got...500 pictures...400 songs...and...games...and it has a touch screen...and eventhough you threw it  on the road...IT WORKS FINE.

hmmmph...."I podde" my ass.

Love

Saadi

ps: Jeez you slapped so hard I think my neck can move an extra inch.

Sometimes I really don't get it, I mean why the hell do such crazy ass things happen with me anyways. I mean its not like I got an orange band on my head that says "PICK ME".
I mean from random bras in the freggin cupboards, to a friend who said "Thank you" when the girl he'd been trying to woo eventually asked HIM out....and like the cars I drive ram into something ONLY when I'm dropping off a chick (come to think of it my car's haunted, it actually moans when I see any girl I really like).

And dont even get me started on videos I keep running into on YouTube thanks to uzair




Out
I podde...aya bara ulloo ka patha

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Name em rite yaar

Jeez Im so tired I cant even think straight...but had to blog today.

Do you know Hillary Clinton's in Pakistan and she was all over the country mobilizing support for America amongst people. Not only did she attend planned dinners with politicians..she actually visited the media..colleges and random celebrities without (YES WITHOUT) the huge entourage of tanks, helicopters and guards that are so mean they scared Niko Bellik in GTA.....twice.
People in Pakistan may hate America all they want but she is what a leader is supposed to be like...committed to the cause of their country even though she is in the cross hairs of just about everyone going down the street.

I mean our president, prime minister and even the freggin dude responsible for handling homeland security are locked away in their mansions at a time when people need them as leaders most.
We're at war and the the commander of our armed forces (our president...aka ainak wala daddu) hasnt even visited our soldiers fighting the fucking terrorists even once...heck do you know that the commander of the Turkish armed forces has visited them before he did to give them a pat on the back.

*sigh*

Woke up early today...usually early...figured I might as well take a shower before going to university (I normally just wash my face but don't worry...I use safeguard).

I go into the washroom and turn the shower on and as soon the water hit my skin...somehow...someway I jumped a good 5 feet in the air and landed ON my washbasin!

I looked up and went like

"God, I know you're funny but this is sooo NOT a good way to tell me winter's here!!"

Kya Alaska say paani import karnay lagay hain....bhais ka moo

Dear God

Ok fine, I get it.

You wont send to me heaven
But please dont throw me in hell man....I mean I know I'm not good enough to go to heaven  but come on I cant be that bad.

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh I know....I can be the Makai wala outside the gates of heaven =D

Love

Saadi

ps: No I wont put in extra lemon n masala if you're beautiful.

I was going through facebook pictures and was very happy cause one of my cousins abroad put up pictures of her baby shower.....hey why the hell do they call it a bridal shower or baby shower when there is no one getting a shower - I mean until three months ago I used to go through "bridal shower" albums on facebook endlessly hoping to find....the bride....and eventually go like :

 "Selfish bastards! sirf apni tasweeray lagayi hain"

Don't blame me they call it a shower damn it...what the hell do they expect me think, why cant they just call them bridal...gift....giving..thaang or something.

You know there are so many things out there that have names that are just lame - like those old American dudes from the wild west are called "cowboys" when they actually ride a freggin horse...and has it ever occurred to you that with that name we make them sound like a gay boyband from India.

And like that famous rock band  which was called "bare naked ladies"...I mean forget naked ladies, they had a gay band member!!

Oh Dont even get me started on the "pussy cat dolls", I mean just look at them do you see anything in them that goes with the bands name!

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 You know what, my bad. Their name makes perfect sense =D

I'm wasted..

Out

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Dont worry guys I know how to beat the Taliban

Ok now with so many universitites and schools under threat from the desperate Taliban a lot of students teachers and parents are worried.
And cause of this almost all institutions have taken steps onsn emergency basis for protecting precious lives...you know no entry without IDs, Scanners, metal detectors, guards with mustaches, guards with guns n mustaches, guards with beards who have guns which have mustaches.

My university has also followed suit...but I still think they should have put up a sign outside that pretty much spells out our feelings about these bastards

"Bum Phaara to tumhaari %#%#% phaar dain gain =@"

but God forbid if push comes to shove dont worry guys I have decided to volunteer my self to save lives...see as soon as these dudes come you guys call me, I'll go face the taliban dude, reach into my pants and take out my

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*Wait for it*

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I PHONE!!!

and as I search for a Wi fi connection, log on to safari and google "How to kill a terrorist who's really pissed off"
you guys....uhh....RUN

ps: Tell my mom I loved her....and my all my friends and you know all those girls I had a crush on ...oh oh oh and that guy from Kings n Queen...and miss France, dont forget miss france =p

Out =D

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